Lissy's dream
This morning I am really sad, and I am not sure where to go with it. Lissy has a dream: she wants to go to the Olympics in gymnastics. I have known it but never known quite what to do with it. She is very talented, and she loves gymnastics and works hard at it. But the Olympics? The truth is, I was unwilling to be the one to kill the dream for a long time, and I honestly was not sure if maybe there wasn't some hope there. If anyone could work hard enough, I think it's Lissy. Driven is an extremely accurate word for my daughter! But as I look into the world of gymnastics more, I begin to see that she is nowhere near where she would need to be now to get to the Olympics. At the bottom of it is the fact that she is at the wrong gym. I love her gym. Her gym is nurturing and caring and they teach good, solid skills. They have produced girls who win at the regional level, and occasionally a national competitor. But they are not an elite gym. Last summer we got a taste of what an elite gym is like at our New Jersey home. Not so much better that our gym looked terrible or anything. But clearly a level up. And Lissy flourished. They pushed her, and she worked hard as usual and really blossomed. Then they moved her up a level, and this is where my really sleepless nights began. Because when we got back to our gym, they chose not to honor that and leave her at level 4. They kept her with her old group at Level 3. Of course Lissy was happy because she is with her friends and it is all familiar. But as the year goes on, I am watching her flatten out. She is not being pushed at all, she is losing the level 4 skills she had over the summer, and her level 3 skills are looking a bit lackluster.
My heart is breaking.
She is also in ballet, where she is also very talented. A few days ago the owner there and I spoke, and she reinforced that Lissy really is physically gifted. She said she has seen another growth in Lissy's ballet. I thought I saw it, but as a mom you never know if it's just wishful thinking, right? But Janis said what I am seeing is real. She is good. And for ballet, I do think she is in the right place and the right school.
Last night after dinner I told Glen and Lissy that. And we talked a little bit about the fact that in one or maybe two years at most she is going to have to make a choice, because both sports will get to be too time consuming to manage both. Glen asked her which she thinks she might do. She answered gymnastics, "because you can't go to the Olympics for ballet." Glen laughed and told her she's not going to the Olympics anyway, she has no idea how hard those kids work and how they have nothing else in their lives. He also told her she's already way too old. This is not how I would have done the conversation, but there we were. I told her that she is also not at the right gym. I told her that her gym can get her to state champs, probably to college, but it will not get her to the Olympics because it is not aggressive enough. She seemed OK as long as she gets to go to State. She was smiley, but the way she left reminded me of the way she looks at the end of a meet where she hasn't done well, so I wonder if we weren't seeing her game face.
I spent hours awake last night. Did I kill her dream? How deep was the dream? Was it ever possible? Could it be possible if we did things differently? Could it be possible if we were at a different gym? Have I failed her??? Glen stated again that he thinks she is at the perfect gym for her. It clearly holds compassion, caring, safety, health, and good sportsmanship as its highest values, all things we want for her. But...
My heart is breaking.
My heart is breaking.
She is also in ballet, where she is also very talented. A few days ago the owner there and I spoke, and she reinforced that Lissy really is physically gifted. She said she has seen another growth in Lissy's ballet. I thought I saw it, but as a mom you never know if it's just wishful thinking, right? But Janis said what I am seeing is real. She is good. And for ballet, I do think she is in the right place and the right school.
Last night after dinner I told Glen and Lissy that. And we talked a little bit about the fact that in one or maybe two years at most she is going to have to make a choice, because both sports will get to be too time consuming to manage both. Glen asked her which she thinks she might do. She answered gymnastics, "because you can't go to the Olympics for ballet." Glen laughed and told her she's not going to the Olympics anyway, she has no idea how hard those kids work and how they have nothing else in their lives. He also told her she's already way too old. This is not how I would have done the conversation, but there we were. I told her that she is also not at the right gym. I told her that her gym can get her to state champs, probably to college, but it will not get her to the Olympics because it is not aggressive enough. She seemed OK as long as she gets to go to State. She was smiley, but the way she left reminded me of the way she looks at the end of a meet where she hasn't done well, so I wonder if we weren't seeing her game face.
I spent hours awake last night. Did I kill her dream? How deep was the dream? Was it ever possible? Could it be possible if we did things differently? Could it be possible if we were at a different gym? Have I failed her??? Glen stated again that he thinks she is at the perfect gym for her. It clearly holds compassion, caring, safety, health, and good sportsmanship as its highest values, all things we want for her. But...
My heart is breaking.
posted by me at 4:09 AM
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