All is well...

So, I am supposed to be working, but find myself instead just sitting here marveling over the feelings inside my belly. Today is quiet, and after lunch I've had the chance to sit at my desk peacefully, and so I notice all the little movements and stirrings. It seems like she's almost always moving somehow now, and I love when I have time to pay attention, rather than getting caught up in the stress and business of daily life. Even better times at home, when I can rub my belly and feel her respond to the touch too. Having seen the shows on Discovery and such, I can picture her too, though I'm never sure what exactly she's doing. But I see her all snuggled up, sometimes arms moving, sometimes legs stretching, maybe even "walking". Maybe she's yawning, or smiling, or playing with all the new features on her face. So many things she can be doing in her tiny world. Funny, some of the web sites and books try to describe the feeling as being like popcorn or butterflies - I really never felt like it was anything but her in me, a precious litle girl with a real body. Even at the beginning when the movements were harder to feel, I always thought of it as her reaching out to touch or curling up or stretching. Just she was so small and so many layers between her skin and mine...

I haven't written in awhile - real life has been busy - but I think the last few weeks can be summed up in this feeling of pure well-being. There have been ups and downs and craziness of course (last week was particularly stressful for both Glen and I at work), but still over everything is this peaceful warmth and happiness. Every time she moves, I know she's healthy, and except for the odd moment or two the burden of fear has been lifted. She responds too, so when I touch or lay my hand on my belly, usually she moves against me. Singing (or even just my voice speaking) seems to bring little thumps too. And lately her father has started rubbing her and talking to her too, and she's starting I think to recognize him. Everything is coming together so that finally I feel like we are starting a family. Not just having a baby, but we're all connected, all part of the same bond and love. Lately Glen has been getting excited about her room and all the things we need for her too, and I've started to get these glimpses of him as a Dad. I didn't expect somehow to be so overwhelmed with new love for him, watching him become a father, but I am. As he picks out stuffed animals and paints fish on her walls, I can hardly keep from bursting with all this pride and love and joy. Even physically, suddenly I can picture him holding her in his arms, her tiny fingers reaching for him or grabbing his finger. And I can imagine the look on his face when he sees her too - I can't wait! And I can't imagine anything more perfect than this man and this baby and this family.