Flowers and fears...
Today was a good day. Saturday, and we got lots of things done. I've been slowly getting our gardens planted for the year - more perennials this time, so I don't have quite so much work every year! Glen says he really likes what I've been doing so far, much better than last year, and so we are enjoying together watching the flowers go in and come to life. Lots of pinks and purples waving in the sun around our home. I planted a white Japanese Snowball and some azaleas, and maybe it's just a tiny bit like I remember Japan. I hope it will be. Looking aorund at our land these days, we love it. Spring is beautiful here, and now more than ever since we've added our own touches.
Today, too, finally we've gotten some of the things done that we've been waiting for. Movers went up to the Lake and brought back the things we're keeping from Glen's parents' home. We got the giant dining room table that has been a fixture in their home, and of course the Bear. (For those of you who have not met the Bear, he is a giant 7-8 foot carved wood bear that has been on the Lake house porch since Glen was little. Every family occasion or holiday has been honored by having the Bear dressed up and/or having family photos with it, including Christmases, graduations - even our wedding.) We love that Bear, and it now stands proudly outside our house.The first thing we did was take pictures of each other with it, and got a little misty-eyed over the fact that our first pictures of our baby when she comes home will be with the Bear. A new generation... Our new generation. We also got the rest of the furniture for the baby's room. Now we can finally put things in their places, get everything set for her. We'll put books on her bookshelves, CD player and night lights and the weebles tree I've saved for her. I started washing her tiny clothes, and the hospital bag is packed. It's all coming together - or just plain coming! Was thinking this morning as we lazed in bed, there may not be many mornings like that anymore, where I just get to watch Glen sleep and feel that overwhelming love as he opens his eyes. There will be other loves, other moments, but different. I hope I can appreciate them as much.
I've noticed lately that my biggest fear, oddly, is not about her anymore. It's about Glen. Leaving him in the mornings or watching him drive off somewhere, I find myself afraid and offering up prayers for his safety. I see horrible things like him getting hit by a car or getting into an accident. Something terrible that will keep him from being here with me. Something that will keep me from meeting her. The other night he played a game with her where he would rub my belly or poke, and she kicked back. She was completly responsive to his touch, and it was another of those amazing things for me to feel. God, let us stay this way. Let us stay a family, loving and touching and amazing each other. As I type this I look over, and there is Glen falling asleep in his recliner, the end of another day. And there is nothing in the world better still than this.
Today, too, finally we've gotten some of the things done that we've been waiting for. Movers went up to the Lake and brought back the things we're keeping from Glen's parents' home. We got the giant dining room table that has been a fixture in their home, and of course the Bear. (For those of you who have not met the Bear, he is a giant 7-8 foot carved wood bear that has been on the Lake house porch since Glen was little. Every family occasion or holiday has been honored by having the Bear dressed up and/or having family photos with it, including Christmases, graduations - even our wedding.) We love that Bear, and it now stands proudly outside our house.The first thing we did was take pictures of each other with it, and got a little misty-eyed over the fact that our first pictures of our baby when she comes home will be with the Bear. A new generation... Our new generation. We also got the rest of the furniture for the baby's room. Now we can finally put things in their places, get everything set for her. We'll put books on her bookshelves, CD player and night lights and the weebles tree I've saved for her. I started washing her tiny clothes, and the hospital bag is packed. It's all coming together - or just plain coming! Was thinking this morning as we lazed in bed, there may not be many mornings like that anymore, where I just get to watch Glen sleep and feel that overwhelming love as he opens his eyes. There will be other loves, other moments, but different. I hope I can appreciate them as much.
I've noticed lately that my biggest fear, oddly, is not about her anymore. It's about Glen. Leaving him in the mornings or watching him drive off somewhere, I find myself afraid and offering up prayers for his safety. I see horrible things like him getting hit by a car or getting into an accident. Something terrible that will keep him from being here with me. Something that will keep me from meeting her. The other night he played a game with her where he would rub my belly or poke, and she kicked back. She was completly responsive to his touch, and it was another of those amazing things for me to feel. God, let us stay this way. Let us stay a family, loving and touching and amazing each other. As I type this I look over, and there is Glen falling asleep in his recliner, the end of another day. And there is nothing in the world better still than this.
posted by me at 9:13 AM
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