Philosophical Question - March 28

I am just putting this out there for the universe.  Feel free to answer or not...

OK, so here's the question of the day: is it possible to feel peace in times like this?  In between the moments of panic, the recovery from watching too much news, the worry about opening the mail or gathering the groceries and trying not to bring any germs into our home, keeping everyone fed and occupied, the scrubbing scrubbing scrubbing of hands...  In between, sometimes, there are these moments of peace.  Not just breathing room, not just a break, but this deep abiding amazing warm welcoming peace.  The kind that overflows everything.  The kind that leaves no room for any of that other stuff.  The kind that takes over so completely that for just those few moments, nothing can touch you.  It's so perfect.

The next feeling is usually guilt.  Guilt that I can have that.  Guilt that there are people out there fighting this thing.  That there are people out there making it possible for me and my family to literally stay alive.  People doing work and helping others in ways that I am not.  I am here, inside my bubble.  Doing what?  The small, still voice tells me I am doing what God requires of me.  I am waiting.  I am not adding to the heartache.  I am not making it harder for them to do their jobs.  I am living my small life staying out of the way of those doing what is necessary.  Part of me feels this is enough for now.  

Peace.  Guilt.  I have always been a person who understands that everyone has their place.  Sometimes you have a big, leading role.  Sometimes you have a small role that makes it possible for others to have their moment.  Sometimes you are a tiny tiny part of a big machine, but that big machine needs you or it cannot run.  I guess in this moment I am a tiny part, I am a small role.  It's a hard idea to swallow when there is so much hurt going on outside my door.

I am OK with being small.  But am I allowed such peace if I am so small?