Back postings...
In fairness to the record, I wanted to add an email I sent to a friend just after Thanksgiving. So someday when Emma reads back on this or I look back, I'll remember the good and the hard and know that it was ALL worth it...
"So, things have been rough lately. Ultimately incredible and rewarding, but in the short term hard on the body. Trying to just keep enjoying the little things. Started back what, like a month ago when I think we went through a last bit of teething or something. For some reason she just stopped sleeping through the night. Then we went ot Florida for Thanksgiving to Glen's folks. We had all these visions of leaving her with the grandparents and spending long hours together alone finally, but apparently we've reached the age of separation anxiety and stranger anxiety, so we spent most of the trip with her not wanting to be held by anyone but mom and dad. By the time she calmed down, we only had one day to wander, then Thanksgiving day and then home on Friday. Sigh. It was good to see the family, and Kelly and Sydney were there. Emma absolutely loved Sydney from the moment she saw her, and Sydney liked the fact that she was the one person (besides me) who could make Emma smile every time. It's also a big deal that Emma is her only first cousin. (Syd has a whole gang of little girl cousins her age on Mike's side, but
they're his cousins' children so like second, third cousins? Removed? I can never figure it out. Anyway.) So Florida was good, but the weeks following are a blur of messed up routine and no sleep. Emma went through some whole separation anxiety thing where for at least a week she wouldn't let me put her in her crib. I ended up spending many nights with her in our bed or me sleeping on her floor where hopefully she wouldn't get too used to sleeping with mom and dad. Seems like it's only maybe the last week that she's finally started to settle down and sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a stretch. For a bit too she was horrible during the days, not letting Melanie (the au pair) leave the room or even put her down in her old swing or anything. Poor Melanie was going nuts, although it's hard to feel sorry for her when at least she got to sleep! After a few days, though, she went back to being her normal self during the days. Happy, smiling, will sit and play by herself for long stretches and doesn't get too upset when I leave the room. It's just been the nights… Then, just about the time we got her starting to settle, Jesse had a medical thing. She's had this fatty lump on her chest for years, and a week and a half ago it split open. It wasn't dangerous per se, but because it's right in the middle of her chest the vet figured it wouldn't heal well or would keep coming back anyway, so we ended up getting surgery for her to remove it. Coincidentally, Glen's scheduler overbooked him for the week and he ended up seeing a record number of patients… You know, the whole rain/pour thing… Still, we somehow survived and I'm not really complaining anymore. Just glad it seems to be passing.
Good things though, I know again that God is giving me the strength to do theses things when I need it. Somehow despite lack of sleep and frustration and tears, every morning Emma smiles at me is still a gift. In fact, the other morning we had a rough night and she was still asleep when I was ready to leave for work. I knew I should let her sleep, but I also knew that without seeing that smile at least once, my whole day would be the worse for it. So I woke her up, and was happy I di
d, feeling that flood of love and joy washing away every vestige of frustration. I don't know why it doesn't seem to work that way for Glen, but that minute I get to hold her in the morning means everything to me. Also, I have to admit that the thing with Jesse really made me pay more attention to her (Jesse, that is). Especially with the sleep thing, I know I haven't been showing her as much love and giving her the time she needs. This really made me do it and made me remember how she is my baby too. Spent a couple of nights sleeping on the floor with her too, and though I wonder if I am doomed to a life of nights on the floor, still felt good to be lying there with an arm around her, keeping her safe too.
So, as Christmas approaches, much to be thankful for, much to celebrate. My parents are coming Thursday Dec 20 for a week. They can hardly wait to see Emma, and we can hardly wait to show them all her new tricks! We have a Christmas tree up now, and as the only Christians on the block have the only lights up on the block… Happy Hannukah? Anyway, all in all life is good and peaceful as it can be, and filled with love. What more could we ask for?"
December 12, 2006
"So, things have been rough lately. Ultimately incredible and rewarding, but in the short term hard on the body. Trying to just keep enjoying the little things. Started back what, like a month ago when I think we went through a last bit of teething or something. For some reason she just stopped sleeping through the night. Then we went ot Florida for Thanksgiving to Glen's folks. We had all these visions of leaving her with the grandparents and spending long hours together alone finally, but apparently we've reached the age of separation anxiety and stranger anxiety, so we spent most of the trip with her not wanting to be held by anyone but mom and dad. By the time she calmed down, we only had one day to wander, then Thanksgiving day and then home on Friday. Sigh. It was good to see the family, and Kelly and Sydney were there. Emma absolutely loved Sydney from the moment she saw her, and Sydney liked the fact that she was the one person (besides me) who could make Emma smile every time. It's also a big deal that Emma is her only first cousin. (Syd has a whole gang of little girl cousins her age on Mike's side, but
they're his cousins' children so like second, third cousins? Removed? I can never figure it out. Anyway.) So Florida was good, but the weeks following are a blur of messed up routine and no sleep. Emma went through some whole separation anxiety thing where for at least a week she wouldn't let me put her in her crib. I ended up spending many nights with her in our bed or me sleeping on her floor where hopefully she wouldn't get too used to sleeping with mom and dad. Seems like it's only maybe the last week that she's finally started to settle down and sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a stretch. For a bit too she was horrible during the days, not letting Melanie (the au pair) leave the room or even put her down in her old swing or anything. Poor Melanie was going nuts, although it's hard to feel sorry for her when at least she got to sleep! After a few days, though, she went back to being her normal self during the days. Happy, smiling, will sit and play by herself for long stretches and doesn't get too upset when I leave the room. It's just been the nights… Then, just about the time we got her starting to settle, Jesse had a medical thing. She's had this fatty lump on her chest for years, and a week and a half ago it split open. It wasn't dangerous per se, but because it's right in the middle of her chest the vet figured it wouldn't heal well or would keep coming back anyway, so we ended up getting surgery for her to remove it. Coincidentally, Glen's scheduler overbooked him for the week and he ended up seeing a record number of patients… You know, the whole rain/pour thing… Still, we somehow survived and I'm not really complaining anymore. Just glad it seems to be passing.Good things though, I know again that God is giving me the strength to do theses things when I need it. Somehow despite lack of sleep and frustration and tears, every morning Emma smiles at me is still a gift. In fact, the other morning we had a rough night and she was still asleep when I was ready to leave for work. I knew I should let her sleep, but I also knew that without seeing that smile at least once, my whole day would be the worse for it. So I woke her up, and was happy I di
d, feeling that flood of love and joy washing away every vestige of frustration. I don't know why it doesn't seem to work that way for Glen, but that minute I get to hold her in the morning means everything to me. Also, I have to admit that the thing with Jesse really made me pay more attention to her (Jesse, that is). Especially with the sleep thing, I know I haven't been showing her as much love and giving her the time she needs. This really made me do it and made me remember how she is my baby too. Spent a couple of nights sleeping on the floor with her too, and though I wonder if I am doomed to a life of nights on the floor, still felt good to be lying there with an arm around her, keeping her safe too.So, as Christmas approaches, much to be thankful for, much to celebrate. My parents are coming Thursday Dec 20 for a week. They can hardly wait to see Emma, and we can hardly wait to show them all her new tricks! We have a Christmas tree up now, and as the only Christians on the block have the only lights up on the block… Happy Hannukah? Anyway, all in all life is good and peaceful as it can be, and filled with love. What more could we ask for?"
December 12, 2006
posted by me at 9:10 AM
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