All that matters

I hear people say all the time, this can't be all there is. But I have to say, when I feel Emma's little arms wrap around me in a hug, or when I look into her eyes and brush her hair back as she settles in for sleep at night, I can't imagine anything greater. I thank God for giving me this, and if it's all there is, it's enough. More than enough. It's amazing.

Baby number two is moving inside me as I type too. I know it will be hard, really hard, at the beginning. Even though I have been hoping she would have been here by now, I am trying to remember to enjoy and relax even in these last few days. And I've realized that every day I wait for her is another I can share with Emma, just us. That's a good thing too. We had a really special day this weekend, a holiday Monday, where we went to the aquarium. Emma loves it there, and I made a point to let her see whatever she wanted, even if it meant seeing the same exhibit four times. She's so beautiful and precocious, and I was proud to watch her confidence around the bigger kids. She had such a great time, she kept running to me and hugging me and kissing me. We shared lunch, and she kept grabbing my hand through it and singing. And at the end of the day, tired finally and overexcited, I carried her out. Even though I usually head straight through the gift shop as fast as possible, this time I stopped and decided to get her something to remember our day. She was very into the turtles all day, so I picked up a soft soft stuffed turtle. She grabbed it instantly, carried it to the car all by herself (even though it's almost half her size), and for three nights now she has fallen asleep with it curled under her little arm. I don't know if it means anything real to her of if she remembers where it's from, but I do. My little girl. My big girl.