Endings and beginnings

Tonight I weaned my daughter. For a few months now I've stopped pumping during the day, just feeding her in the morning and at night. Slowly, even that has been getting less and less, until last night - the last night I breastfed my baby. My big girl! I'm so sad tonight. Last night I came out of her room crying, knowing. My last thought was "God, please let me remember this feeling for the rest of my life." Moments later, she pulled away, curling up against me in sleep. Tonight, of course, was harder. Last night she didn'tknow it was her final time. Tonight, she cried. I gave her a bottle, which she took happily for a minute, then she threw it away and tried to turn to me. Oh baby! It took everything to pull her so gently away and give her back the bottle. She really cried, throwing her body around and trying to reach me. In the end, not knowing what to do, I just started singing. I always play music at bedtime, music I like and can sing to, and so I started singing along. Amy Grant, "Saved by Love", Vince Gill, "Once in Awhile". And amazingly, it calmed her. Her eyelids got heavy, and her hands fell away from the bottle, and she slept! I tiptoed out to Carrie Underwood singing "Don't Forget to Remember Me". Oh my baby. Did I ever imagine when I first started breastfeeding her how it would break my heart to stop?